Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Operation Purity has been aborted
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
