One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
