After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
