Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
