I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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