I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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