I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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