Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
