There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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