Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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