Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
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She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
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i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
We smell like vodka and hangover
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