sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
