He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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