I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
