he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize