Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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