i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
