obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
