You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
