i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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