he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
