We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
