just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
