I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
