How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
