My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize