he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
