3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
