butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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