You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
