I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
