I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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