grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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