i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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