All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
