i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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