just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
