all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
