then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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