Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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