What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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