So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
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I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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