im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
