I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
