you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
