Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
