Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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