Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
