Me too!
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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