he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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