Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
