i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
