please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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