Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Well I just put wine in my tea
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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