I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
