I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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