I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
