Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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