Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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